This one has been one of the hardest stories to share to date & one that has taken me a long time to get to. Before I jump in I thought I’d introduce myself to any newbies. My name is Alevy (pronounced Ah-Levy) & I’m the creative, collector, curator & boss-lady behind The Simple Collection. This journey began in 2015 as part of my own healing, discovering & desire to create my own business but was too terrified to begin.
I’m 32, passionate, happy, kind, loyal, super chatty although shy when you meet me kinda gal. I’m all about self-love, self care, compassion, alignment over hustle, positive light, gratitude crusader, being authentically you (although I wish there was another word for it), shining your light & inspiring others. I believe in the power of the Universe & consciously creating the life we desire. I’ve been on my own Spiritual path for quite some time now, read and studied many practices & all the Law of Attraction (LOA). You name them I’ve probably read them.
I make mistakes, I have my down days and little tantrums (hello inner child) & want to serve others by helping with tools and support that helped me along my journey.
I’m a sister, a daughter, a friend, a light-worker, a mediocre wife but amazing partner to my soul mate Aaron. He’s been the most incredible partner in life & I am just so darn grateful to have an Angel working with me side by side. We bring the best out of each other & support each other.
I have been and can be (although such a small amount these days) an anxious person.
In 2015 my anxiety reached a breaking point. It felt like my light was being snuffed out and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. It was taking over my life & I felt helpless. I didn’t want to do much because of the fear and wouldn’t leave anywhere without medication & a whole lot of psyching myself up. Everyone gets anxious every now and then, for one reason or another & if you haven’t ever been an anxious person then what a blessing. That’s something to be grateful for! But if you have and are, I can relate... anxiety can be debilitating for some.
You see after an embarrassing incident at 18 it triggered something else inside of and left it’s mark on me. Slowly it began to get worse over the years. Whilst I’d manage to control it in my early 20s l never actually cleared it, healed from it or helped myself.
Looking back I had always been an anxious person & child growing up. So many things would worry me & I was scared of what could happen. While I was always a happy, shy but social (try work that one out) child I was alway worried of the consequences, disappointing someone or trying anything new. I feared everything, all dogs, driving on roads that made my stomach drop (I knew when they were coming too), being told what to do by an authoritative person (think scary teachers), trying new things, probably even my own shadow and was never one to get on rides. But these things are normal hey, when your growing up. I was just a scaredy-cat, this is just who I am. Well it was my normal at least.... But what if I told you it didn’t have to be this way.
By the time I reached my mid 20s I had figured this was just who I am, I thought this was my normal & I just had to live with that. In a way I had convinced myself that I was fine with that until it started to stop me from doing anything & everything I wanted. I had dreams but my fears held me back.
In 2011 I quit my Full Time Job, I had a very good job & had excelled but I wanted something more than that & to think about it my anxiety had started to flare working with a difficult colleague. So I quit, travelled Europe & then came back to complete my Uni degree & worked casually.
End of 2014 to 2015 my anxiety turned in to depression because I had become trapped by my own thoughts & fear of what my anxiety would do to me. I slowly stopped going to events, being social. Even though I wanted to do these my anxiety would get the best of me. For me my anxiety was stopping me from living the life I dreamed off & had slowly started to make me more agoraphobic & just broken.
To be continued in part 2...